Clown Science [This degree is a joke!]
"Because laughter is the best medicine" ©
Licensed clown science practitioners (CSPs) provide humor therapy in a variety of settings. They determine the nature and extent of their client's comedic injuries or humor deprivation. They immobilize funny bone fractures; prescribe and provide puns, riddles, traditional jokes, practical humor, and physical humor, according to client needs. CSPs provide life-saving jest intervention for victims of acute comedic injuries, and for those who suffer from chronic humor deprivation maladies. In certain settings, CSPs also provide long-term humor therapy .
You gotta be funny. Clown science practitioners must be able to provide both impromptu comedic intervention, as well as implement strategic, long-term humor therapy in a way that is safe and hilarious for both the CSP and his or her client. The ability to walk in oversized shoes and fit into tiny novelty cars is a plus. CSPs who posses large noses that make funny noises when squeezed fair especially well in the clowning job market.
The Bachelor of Clown Science degree will be offered through the University Clown Collage (UCC, or "The Collage"). Buttons Pagliacci has been appointed Dean of Clowns, and director of Clown Science. The program admits a new cohort of BCS students each Fall (pratfall, that is). Preclown students should periodically check this site for further information. The Health Professions and Prelaw Center posts updates as they become available. Course list below (all courses 3 credits unless otherwise noted).
CLSCI-C 101 Make Them Smile
CLSCI-C 201 Make Them Laugh, (P: C101)
CLSCI-C 301 Make Them Cry (P: C101, C201)
CLSCI-C 401 Make Them Laugh So Hard They Cry (P: C101 - C301)
CLSCI-C 402 Stunt Clowning and Other Advanced Techniques;
or C403 Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? I Don't Know, Why Don't You Ask Her?: Sarcasm, Irony, Parody (P: C101 - C401)
CLSCI-C 405 Clowning Lab I: From Beakers to Baby Bottles
CLSCI-C 406 Clowning Lab II: From Bunsen Burners to Balloon Bombs
CLSCI-C 499 Clowning Practicum
CLSCI-E 004 A Mime is a Terrible Thing to Waste (1 cr, 8 weeks course)
CLSCI-E 005 Juggling with Fire and Sharp Objects (1 cr, 8 weeks course, special fee, waiver required)
CLSCI-E 006 Juggling Fish and Other Slippery Objects (1 cr, 8 weeks course, lunch provided)
CLSCI-C 007 Juggling People, Big and Small
CLSCI-C 102 It's To Laugh: Clowning Through the Ages
CLSCI-C 103 Ancient Greek Clowning
CLSCI-C 104 Ancient Roman Clowning
CLSCI-C 105 Pass the Seltzer, Watch Out for that Banana Peel: A History of Clowning Props
CLSCI-C 106 It Ain't Peanuts: The Business of Clowning (formerly, Clowning is a Serious Business)
CLSCI-C 209 Greek and Latin Clown Terminology (2 cr)
CLSCI-C 110 Bigger on the Inside: Quantum Clowning, or Just How Many Clowns Will Fit into that Tiny Car?
CLSCI-C 215 Basic Clown Anatomy
CLSCI-C 217 Existential Clowning: Knock Knock, Is Anyone Really There?
CLSCI-C 220 Death and Clowning
CLSCI-C 221 Europe's Black Plague: The Lighter Side
CLSCI-C 225 Sad Clowns, Scary Clowns: The Psychology of Antithetical Clowning
CLSCI-C 255 Clown Sexuality
CLSCI-C 324 Abnormal Clowning
CLSCI-C 410 Hey Lady, Stop with the Thing of Hoiting: Jerry Lewis, King of Clowns
CLSCI-C 415 Chaplin, Keaton, Tati: Silent But Deadly
CLSCI-C 420 Comedy Versus Tragedy: Case Studies in Recent Political History
Click HERE to watch our Bachelor of Clown Science Promotional Video (BCS, UCC)
Leonardo da Vinci, selected anatomical clown drawings, Vitruvian Clown, c. 1487
(Earliest know rendition of clown nasal anatomy and clown rainbow wig)
Please note that specific requirements and policies can change at any time without notice, and that everything on this page is a joke, not real, pretend, parodic. If the Bachelor of Cown Science (BCS) program were real, students would be responsible for obtaining the most current information directly from application and testing services, and the schools and programs in which they have an interest. They would also need to refer to the program's web pages, bulletins, and other publications for the most current information. If this page wasn't just plain silly, students would be responsible for understanding degree course requirements, as well as other requirements, policies, and procedures related to the degree; for enrolling in appropriate courses; for understanding IU policies/procedures; and for following through properly with regard to all of the preceding. That is, if the BCS program were real.